INSIDE DRAG RACING (1997)

by

A few weeks after my dinner with the Curator, I am channel hopping and catch the last few minutes of the weekly television talk show, INSIDE DRAG RACING. Drag racing is not the topic. Interstellar forms of propulsion is. Don Garlits, an ardent and obsessive UFO buff, is trying to get to the truth about the back engineering of UFOs as sanctioned by the Air Force. He was interviewing self-proclaimed UFO mechanic Bob Lazar.

As the segment closed, Garlits asks Lazar if, while in the catacombs of Area 51 back-engineering spaceships, he’d ever seen one of the extra-terrestrials. Lazar takes a beat, then blurts an emphatic “NO.”

Kate holds up the phone, points at the mouthpiece and whispers sotto voce, “It’s ‘Big Daddy.'”

Garlits is on the line and he is pissed. He is livid because I had run parts of Jocko’s letter of refusal in a national publication. “And this is not for publication, but all of those recreational drugs and living in isolation in the high desert has FUCKED UP his mind.”

I don’t have the heart to tell “Big Daddy” that while he was looking for the truth about spaceships, he actually has one mothballed in his museum. The DON GARLITS’ WYNNS-LINER.

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